androflow

This first installment of my Etiquette and Behaviour Guide has been inspired by Ontario Today:

Phone-in shows are among the things that are unfortunate, but unlikely to go away (think: car alarms, encounters with close-talkers, Nickelback). Why? Because people keep phoning in. And though hearing about a range of opinions and experiences can be interesting, this format is probably one of the worst ways to go about presenting it.

That said, there’s one rule, which, if followed diligently by all callers, would do much to improve what’s otherwise an unfortunate situation:

Be brief.

Let’s break it down:

Be brief – The host (and guest, if applicable) are fine. Or they’re not fine. Maybe they’re upset, or worried, or maybe the guest has a gas problem and everyone in the studio is reaaaaaaaly uncomfortable. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Don’t ask. A brief, “Hi. Thanks for taking my call. I was wondering about…” will do.

Be brief – Prepare one comment or one question or one anecdote. If the host thinks the audience would like to hear more, she’ll ask. Do not try to sneak one extra comment or question or anecdote in at the end of your call. It’s over. Hang up. Call a friend. Write in your journal.

Be brief – Get to the point. If your question (or…) requires more backstory than you can deliver in, say, ten or fifteen seconds, it’s not phone-in material. Write a letter instead and let an editor pick out the good stuff. If you feel you can say what you’d like to say in a reasonable amount of time, write it down. Even a short thesis statement would do; anything that’ll keep you from babbling.